Let me summarize my successes.
I have now led this nation into the first downgrade in its history. The effect of this accomplishment will be felt world wide. The dollar will plunge, stocks will fall. I will have personally been responsible for wiping out trillions of dollars out of these greedy Americans’ 401ks. Consumer spending will slow to a snail’s pace. Constructions projects will be put on hold or abandoned, throwing the non-union construction workers out of work. I made America the laughing stock of the world!
MY QUESTION IS WHY SHOULDN’T I HAVE A DAY OF GOLFING? A LITTLE BIRTHDAY PARTY? AFTER ALL, I AM WORKING HARD FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!
Holder and I have been able to supply Zeta, M13 and Mexican cartels with heavy duty arms. We have added instability to the southern border and armed criminals that have led to the demise of thousands of Mexican children. On the surface this may not seem like a success, but we will have the ATF register all guns sold in the United States. This makes them easy to confiscate when the time comes. This is an update as I celebrate my birthday – Holder is preparing to attack honest business along the border. I WILL get these guns before I am out of office.
On my watch thousands of illegal’s have been able to receive free medical care, free food stamps, free housing, and turned lose from jail to send Americans to the ‘promised land’. I can not take full responsibility for this, because George W and his pansies left policies in place that made it easy to expand this pillage of the American citizens. We are vigorously defending these criminals by suing states that have passed laws to uphold federal law.
Employment has shot up to 9.2 percent and I am able to proudly say that it will hover there or even go higher. Un-employed people have to stand in line and beg for government hand-outs. The success of this program has been beyond my imagination -shucks I got them Rednecks with Masters Degrees building fences in Oregon for a thousand a month. Those Rednecks got to get out of those pick-up trucks and drive a Yugo. I had wonderful news today the unemployment rate among African Americans is 16.2 percent! I want to think Reid and Pelosi for helping me accomplish this high water mark. and this doesn’t even count those who have “Given Up” looking for work!
I have stacked the NLRB so that labor has a ‘free hand’ to push it’s Democratic Party Fund Raising agenda.
And what about my moves with the EPA? I, with the help of my cronies in the scientific world and the press, have managed to deliver a severe blow to the coal industry. By using ‘doctored’ scientific papers, the EPA has regulated the power industry so that there will be a shortage of power beginning next year.
Another blow to you arrogant Americans, I need four more years along with a Democratic Congress, and we will stop this industry cold in its tracks. Imagine those arrogant cowboys in Texas, having to contend with rolling black-outs. EPA is a great tool to use when congress will not go along.
What I have done to the National debt is very impressive. I have increased it more in two and a half years more than any other president before me! I did all this without producing jobs. I am grateful to the one that controls all things that he has heard the prayers of his humble servant and has allowed me to fool those in the ‘lame stream media’ into thinking I walk on water. Wow, what a birthday present – our National Debt is now one hundred percent of GDP! Oh, boy, we just got downgraded. Isn’t that just super cool?
Time will not allow me to list all the wonderful things I have done but I will continue to work hard for the destruction of America, and all non-Muslim Americans.